My Husband Has Stage 4 Cancer. Here's Why I'm Not Falling Apart.

Cindy Warner
Jan 6
3 min read

Updated: Jan 12

'How are you holding up?' People keep asking me that. My husband has stage 4 cancer. I'm 77 and I'm his caregiver. The truth? We're not falling apart. Here's why.

Not just the theology I've known for years. Something deeper. Something I needed to see again, right now.

My husband Dick was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer a few weeks ago. I'm 77. He's my partner in 49 years of full-time ministry. And now I'm his caregiver.

People ask, "How are you holding up?" Some probably wonder why we're not falling apart.

Here's the truth: We're not holding up because we're strong. We're holding up because of what I saw this morning.

The Verse That Found Me

Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22)

I've been pondering this verse for weeks. But this morning, the Holy Spirit connected the dots.

How does casting our burdens on the Lord actually work? What makes it possible?

The answer: Christ IN you.

Not Christ with you. Not Christ for you. Christ IN you.

That changes everything.

What I Learned the Hard Way

Can I be gut-level honest? For years—decades, really—I tried harder, prayed harder, stayed busy with good things. I thought that's what faithfulness looked like.

In 1990, I collapsed. Total burnout.

God used that breakdown to show me something I'd missed: His life wasn't meant to just reside in me. His life was meant to actively work in me.

There's a difference between knowing Christ is there and experiencing His life functioning within you. Between mental assent to a verse and the actual power of His presence carrying what you can't.

I'd been taught to strive. God wanted me to abide.

When Crisis Hits

Now here we are. Stage 4 cancer. Caregiving. Uncertainty. The kind of burden that could crush you if you tried to carry it yourself.

But here's what I'm experiencing: When a burden hits, instead of my mind spinning into problem-solving mode, there's a pause. His peace whispers, "I've got this."

Strength shows up that isn't manufactured by my willpower.

I hear His voice about what's mine to do and what's His to carry.

Dick said to me the other day, "Cindy, I want Christ to come forth in me so others can see—the testimony of Jesus isn't just when everything's perfect.

May our lives speak. Not about us in our weakness, but that when we are weak, His strength is made perfect."

That's 2 Corinthians 12:9 breathing

.

The Peace That Doesn't Make Sense

I have a deep peace right now. Not because Dick's diagnosis is good. Not because I'm pretending everything's fine.

But because Christ IN me is the source of what sustains me. That's what Psalm 55:22 means.

The casting works because of who lives within us. His presence doesn't just comfort—it carries. It sustains. It keeps us unshaken when everything around us is shaking.

This isn't religious talk. It's daily reality. His life actively working when mine runs out.

Here's What I'm Learning

Performance-based Christianity tells us to try harder. The gospel tells us to lean harder—on Him.

When we're striving in our own strength, we block His life from flowing. But when we yield, when we cast the burden because we can't carry it anymore? His presence takes over.

It's like He's holding my hand saying, "We'll walk this journey together."

And that's enough.

A Question for You

Are you trying to hold up under your burden, or are you letting Christ IN you do the holding?

There's a difference. And when you discover it, you can't unsee it.

The Spirit of truth opens your eyes, and everything changes.

Whatever you're carrying today—cast it. Not as a technique. Not as one more thing to try. But as a person who knows Christ IN you is the only strength that will hold.

He's there. Right now. His life ready to work in your weakness.

Love, Cindy