I Was Trying to Reach a Jesus Who Was Already in Me

Cindy Warner
Jan 7
3 min read

Updated: Jan 12

I spent years exhausting myself trying to get closer to Jesus. He was already in me.

Chasing it felt like trying to grab fog: the harder I tried, the more it slipped away.

But here's what I didn't understand back then.

I used to think that Jesus was somewhere far away from me, like up there or over there, and not a part of me or me a part of Him. I felt like I had to make an effort to reach Him, get closer, and show that I deserved His love.

That lie pushed me to keep trying non-stop. I was just trying to follow the rules, be good enough, and do whatever it took to close the distance between us.

Honestly, it wore me out. I just couldn't handle trying so hard anymore and totally hit my limit.

Thinking about it now, that desperation turned out to be the best thing ever for me. It wasn't actually failing—it was the turning point.

When I was at my wit's end and had nothing left to give, that's when I was finally ready to see what the Holy Spirit had been wanting to show me all along.

The Truth That Changes Everything

Here's the reality: Being united with Christ isn't something we have to work for or earn. It's already been set up by what Christ accomplished.

You're already in Him, and He's already in you. It's not something you need to achieve—it's the reality of who you are right now.

But all the wrong teachings had me totally missing this. I couldn't see what was already true because I'd been taught to think we were separate. The Holy Spirit had to do two things at once—tear down the old stuff and build up something new.

He broke through the lie I believed (that stronghold of the mind Paul talks about in 2 Corinthians) and with His truth opened my eyes to see union with Christ (those "eyes of understanding" Paul prays for in Ephesians 1).

Not Head Knowledge—Heart Revelation

Paul didn't think his way to truth on Damascus Road. Jesus revealed Himself in Paul (Galatians 1:15-16).

Mental agreement that "union is true" isn't the same as the Holy Spirit making it real in you—showing you, awakening you to actually see and experience it.

In Ephesians 1:17-18, Paul is constantly praying that God would bless them with the "Spirit of wisdom and revelation" so they can grasp hope, inheritance, and power.

Notice how he keeps praying? It's not just a one-time thing. The Holy Spirit keeps showing and reminding us of what's always been true.

That's what renewing your mind is all about—it's not just about replacing one thought with another, but completely changing how you see things. And it's something that keeps happening.

It's easy to slip back into old habits, those behaviors we picked up from believing the lie for so long.

But the Holy Spirit, our Remembrancer, keeps bringing us back to see the truth again and again.

It's about uncovering what's always been there, not finding a new truth!

Inside-Out Transformation

Here's the beautiful part: When the Holy Spirit awakens you to your union with Christ, real transformation begins.

It's not about trying to fit into external rules and struggling to meet standards. That's what religion does, and it just leads to exhaustion!

Absolutely! This is a transformation from the inside out! When you realize that Christ's life is your life and that you're living from a place of union rather than striving for it, everything changes. Peace flows in, and joy bubbles up!

Freedom becomes real.

You let go of the struggle and embrace the comfort of what's already true!